Even though I do not agree, but I now understand my Zulu ancestors’ actions of not allowing a female child to experience freedom before marraige. They knew that once tasted, it was the most difficult thing to let go. This is how marraiges were kept intact and there was almost zero seperations. Women endured control and abuse because they knew nothing else. They did not have means of supporting themselves or their kids and there was always a stigma of being called “umabuy’emendweni”. Her family would never haave accepted her back home.
Times have changed. The taste of freedom is at the tips of our fingers. We are able to take care of ourselves and our kids and the need for marraige in our lives is almost non existent. It is now a choice to agree to a marraige proposal or not to agree. We have a right to pick and choose. That is why the divorce rate is so high. Freedom is now a contender with the ring since in some marraiges the one spouse sees it as a form of ownership and control of the other person and expects the other person to change for them.
Marraige is a good thing; it keeps the kids in a stable environment, and many other things that keep the family together. People love to be free; not to be owned or controlled; and to feel responsible for their own lives. That is why people have died for it in history. People need to go with the times and accept each other as they are and as individuals in the marraige or out of it otherwise Freedom will always win, handsdown.